CHAPTER II
But instead he sleeps…
A sleep of at least 30 days.
His dreams- erratic and hopeless.
Waking up everyday to realize he still sleeps,
And going to sleep every night to see he’s still awake.
He dreams of waking up in the morning
From a dream of his waking up.
Each day doing as the previous-
Never quite reaching happiness.
While never experiencing enough pain
To truly wake him.

Then he awakens,
To a world of joy...
Although nothing like he thought;
It still tantalizes his senses,
And invigorates his emotions...
And this was all before she came.
She who left him speechless,
While he had so much to say.
She who kept him up thinking,
In bed where he lay.
She, nothing like he was looking for.
(Yet leaving him happy,
That she he had found.)
Even though at first passed over,
She from there never left his mind.
She was small and delicate...
Held captive in the cage of her own mind.
He gave her the key to the cage....
As well as the key to his heart.
But as it always had been,
His joy was brief;
and the pain it brought,
Was long.
Yet is was a bittersweet victory.
For it was a joy to last a lifetime.
One more intense than he had ever remembered, yet...
So was the pain it brought.
Many were the tears he shed over her,
And bitter was their taste.
Yet he cherished every tear,
Because it was from her.
She lingered long on his mind...
And yet longer in his heart.
She belonging to a chapter in life...
Already finished,
Yet never truly over.
The thought of her-
Tormented him.... Haunted him...
Like some specter not invited,
Yet never asked to leave.
For he enjoyed its company.
He savored each moment,
As he had each tear.
He had yet to “fall in love”,
For he yet knew her well enough...
But he was teetering on the edge-
Longing for a push.
She complicated life,
Her very existence brought problems ten fold-
Which he suffered through;
Happy that it had happened...
And to ignorant,
To care about the pain of now.
He felt it;
Yet it was drowned out by the euphoria of her.
Which lasted, and sustained him.
Nourishment to his soul.
But still the pain tears him apart.
...From the inside out.
Feeling like one would feel,
After ingesting acid.
But he was happy to be able to have those feelings.
For he knew extremes like that,
Were indicative of love.
Which he was happy to be near.
He needed, and craved it;
Like a baby, wanting of his mothers milk-
He wanted her,
And her nourishment.
It pained him deeply to know that he couldn’t have her,
And that if he somehow did achieve her;
It would be only for a short time.
Much like the life of a shooting star,
Fast and Bright.
Not even having time enough to realize,
He enjoyed it.
…Not until it was gone.
But like the darkness left behind after the star had fallen;
The pain lingered on heavy, still, and indefinitely.
Which was the case now.
Euphoria had worn off,
Leaving him burned out.
Tired of living, breathing, and thinking;
But knowing their was no other way.
He must continue to think,
Even though every thought is of her.
He must breath,
Even though each breath brings him pain.
He must live,
In hopes of seeing her again.
So...
He trudges on, minute by minute,
And day by day.
Waiting for each to end,
So that the next may begin.
He tells his story to anyone who will listen,
Hoping someone else will understand.
But they don’t.
Or they just don’t tell him.
So he feels alone.
Isolated, by himself,
Even though in the middle of the crowd.
Like as if he were trapped in some sort of bubble,
Kept away from the world.
The worst part of it was knowing...
Knowing that the bubble was of his own doing,
created and sustained by his own mind.

CHAPTER I
He no longer knows what he wants
And lays.
Lost in thoughts, lost in memories and pain,
Simply lost.
Once he knew what he wanted,
Once upon a time...
But that was then... and this is now.
So for know he lays contemplating:
Life, love, his very existence.
Not unearthing any answers,
Regressing back into self pity and sulking.
He sits in a car full of people
Yet is completely alone;
But that seems to be the same every where he goes.
No one seems to truly understand him,
Which adds to his despondent state.
They travel through the desert
(Which aside from other cars,
Wherein others can be found running...
Running from life and reality.)
Is desolate.
Almost as desolate as his heart,
Which once was full of joy.
...But that disappeared...
About the same time as he lost what he wanted.
As they speed along everything goes by them in a blur,
As in life.
Everything that is except the mountains.
They loom off in the distance.
He admires them-
For they stand firm and solid.
They only shake in tandem with earth,
Though they lack direction,
They are secure.
Secure in the fact that they don't need security.
They mock him;
Mock him knowing that they were here before him...
and will be here still once he's gone.
So they need not worry... but he does.
He knows any minute, and second he could die.
So he frantically collects his thoughts... sorting through them,
So that he may put them on paper.
That others may one day know.
Maybe someone will find comfort in his words someday.
They do him no good so he releases them,
Hoping that it will ease his soul.
Unfortunately, it doesn't... yet he continues.
He would like to be able to complete something;
But still he is unsure...
...About continuing...
For it might cause him to remember.
Remember what he's not sure.
But he knows it should be left forgotten.
He decides however to try,
As they race the setting sun,
For time is against him.
Cars around them have turned on their lights,
Perhaps it is to see through the incessant fog and haze.
Not in front of the cars but rather the drivers eyes,
Hearts, and souls.
But it is probably just in preparation for the dark.
Be prepared, he remembers hearing that in scouts.
He thinks it was their motto or something.
But he doesn't care enough to concentrate on it.
I... I mean He has more important things to worry about.
He looks to pour out his soul, for his heart is empty,
(Except for the pain which sits like lead at the bottom)
But he can't figure out where to begin.
So for now he chooses to think some more.